


Big Losses

by CrescentxMoon



Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms, Red vs. Blue
Genre: Agent Oregon (Red vs. Blue) - Freeform, F/M, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Old Wounds, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Sex, Survivor Guilt, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:52:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrescentxMoon/pseuds/CrescentxMoon
Summary: What if you were in a world where Carolina died when Maine threw her off the cliff? What if it was you who sought to kill the Director? What if you cared about Washington too much?





	Big Losses

**Author's Note:**

> I have a problem writing short prompts so here's a long story I've been messing around with.

Washington and I have faced hell this week. 

 

Although our lives were pretty much a vivid description of hell, this week would have to take the cake.  Sure, the whole time wasn’t so bad, but the end result was terrifying.  After meeting the reporter Dylan Andrews, we hoped to find more Freelancers and see if they knew why others were starting to disappear.  These soldiers, our friends, were trained to be some of the smartest, fastest, and deadliest men and women in the galaxy, so how could they disappear after all that we’ve been through with the Project?  Once Dylan, Jax, and the Reds and Blues left to investigate things, we departed from the isolated base we called home and set off to find any nearby freelancers.

 

Washington looked at the stats once more, “Oregon.” I looked up at the sound of my name and turned my neck to look him in the visor. “Illinois was last seen here, but I’m not finding any sign of his presence.” My eyes wandered across the water and sand that surrounded us. This place was peaceful, no wonder why he would want to hide out here. After a few more minutes, we approached a small shack, a few meters away from the ocean. Wash and I stopped in our tracks and looked at the lone picture that framed on the wooden wall.

 

The atmosphere of the picture was warm, string lights had hung above the heads of freelancers in a somewhat cheap but comfortable bar.  It depicted Illinois in the bottom right corner, holding a half-empty bottle of his favorite rum. York had his arm around Carolina, who was holding a can of Redd in her left hand. To the right of them was Wash. He was sitting on a stool next to the bar top while holding a can of an unknown brand of beer. In the bottom left corner of the picture was North, who looked to be holding up a peace sign while most likely offering his biggest smile ever. That day, I was planning to meet up with the group but I had gotten sick, leaving Delaware to care for me.

 

My hand left my side and softly touched the memory, seeing if I could physically hold back the good days we had shared with one another. Washington broke the silence,

 

“It really takes you back, huh?”

 

“It sure does”

 

I frowned, realizing how much I miss North and York. It wasn’t fair, none of this was.  North was the most compassionate of us all, and he suffered the most tragic fate. No one would suspect that a twin would leave the other for dead. Yes, South was kind of a bitch but she was his blood. He welcomed everyone he met with a warm hug and a wide Cheshire cat smile. I remember when I met him for the first time, his massive figure casting a shadow over me as I was joking around with Wash about something.

 

Then, there was York. After the incident with his eye, York became warier of the people he affiliated himself with. Obviously, he still cared about those close to him, and if anything, pulled them closer after the whole ordeal. I still couldn’t believe he was dead, however, I wouldn’t have put it past Wyoming for being a huge dick.  I sighed turning away from the photo. It hurt to think about this stuff, sometimes I wondered if forgetting would be best for my sanity. I sauntered towards the blue waves and stared at the island opposite of the one we were on. We were all family, but the leaderboard and the Director’s ways had torn us all apart. I heard the weight applied to the sand beside me.

 

“It looks like Illinois got what he dreamed of when he came here. I heard that he always wanted to live on the shore, to sail with a little red boat, to enjoy the rest of his life after he got away from all the death and betrayals.”

 

I gazed at Wash, unknowing of how to console him.

 

“I’m sorry Wash, I knew that you were closer to him than I was. I wish it didn’t have to come down to this.  I wish that we could have had a fresh start from all this bullshit. And we almost did, we were so close… but as soon as the search for the Director began... We lost more than what we bargained for.  I miss North, I miss York, I miss Church, and I miss our friends.  I hate being this hardwired kill machine.”

 

Wash turned his head in my direction and softly spoke, “It’s never too late to start over again.”

 

I felt the tears threatening to spill over my eyes, and managed to keep my voice steady, “Do you really believe that David?”

 

There was yet another quiet moment between us before he joked, “Well, I don’t know if rock singer is really in your future, but yeah.”

 

I took a step towards the clear water and looked down.  “A lot of the time, I wish that things would just end. That we wouldn’t have to face any more evil groups that just kill for more power.  But it never ends, people will keep dying, more blood will be shed, and people will be hurt.” I reached my hand into my undersuit and yanked off a small diamond heart necklace from my neck.

“This is all that remains from my family, it stood for something, but I’ve long since forgotten its meaning. All that I think of when I look at it is how I failed my family and how I failed to keep innocent people safe.”

 

I raised my arm to throw it into the rushing tides but something held me back.

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

I stared into what I hope was Wash’s eyes, despite that fact that the visor was blocking out any emotions we could show. My heart was beginning to ache. “What about starting over?”

 

“I mean- “Wash slowly wrapped his armored hand around mine and gently squeezed “-you don’t have to destroy the past to have a future.”

 

Our entwined arms lowered between us and there was a moment of silence as we just stared at the water lapping around. At this moment, my pain had dulled into something bearable, and I felt… different. Wash had been there with me every step of the way and had always remained somewhat optimistic. Even after Epsilon tried to kill himself inside of Wash, he still stood by my side supporting me and my choices. I couldn’t believe I overlooked it for so long but Wash had cared, more than he would like me to know.  A small smile began to find itself on my face and I truly felt happy for a second. Then his voice broke the silence, as he quietly spoke “Take off your suit.”

 

“David- “

 

“I got an idea, take it off!”

 

“That’s um- “

 

Wash quickly shook his head, denying any accusations and awkwardly, yet excitedly said

“No-No-Not like that. The Recovery Beacons, that’s the key!”

 

“…Huh?”

 

“Every suit that belonged to Project Freelancer was special. They all had Recovery Beacons in them so agents could be located if they were ever in distress. Personally, I didn’t like the idea of walking around with an active tracking device- “

 

“So, you turned ours off, I remember.”

 

“-Maybe that’s why we’re still around. Whoever’s been tracking down Freelancers has a way of following the beacons.”

 

“So, you suggest we turn ours back on and lure the hunters here?”

 

“Unless you have a better idea.”

 

I took a second to think about our options, “Can’t say I do.”

 

Another moment of silence falls over us as we stare at each other.

 

“So?” He questioned, “Are you gonna turn around?” He stammered, “Ah-Yes-Sorry.” His back soon faced me and I felt it was appropriate to take my armor off now. I turned the other way and pulled my helmet off letting my long chocolate colored hair barely brush the small of my back. I threw my helmet on the ground and began to take my chest piece off. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t really know how to activate the beacon.  Once I threw the next piece of armor off I stood still for a minute, thinking of what to do next.

 

“Hey Wash?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

He still faced the opposite direction which kind of made me want to laugh. “I don’t know where to look for the switch to activate the beacon.” He turned around for a second but realized his mistake and covered his visor with his hands. “I-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to look!” I laughed and walked up to his towering figure.  “Come on Wash, I bet you saw Connie or South with just their undersuits on.”

 

Wash shifted his feet while not saying anything for a few seconds.

 

“Wait, you’re kidding?”

 

He spread his fingers and silently glared at me through his helmet for a few seconds before sighing.

 

“Your armor is a little bit different than mine, so it could be in a different spot.”

 

“Well, where is yours?”

 

Wash, hesitantly took ahold of his helmet and twisted it off. Holding it in an angle which allowed the sun to shine on it. I shifted closer towards Wash to see what he was pointing at. When I looked up I saw amazingly blue orbs concentrating on the details of his helmet, explaining something about Recovery Beacons. I had never noticed how blue his eyes were, they were completely memorizing me.  When he stopped talking, it was because he noticed I was no longer looking at his helmet, but into his eyes.

 

“Oregon?”

 

“Yes Wash?”

 

His eyebrows knitted and he lightly bit his lips.

 

“Can I… Can I kiss you?”

 

I really hoped this would not complicate things too much.

 

“Yes”

 

Wash slowly got closer and closer to my face, stooping down to reach my level, until his soft lips met mine. Our lips locked in a small dance, as I heard a soft moan in the air.  It felt like fireworks had been set off in my head and soon everything around us began to disappear.  His tongue swept into my mouth and he placed his hands on my hips. I wanted so much more at the moment, my mind nervous to know what would happen next.

 

_______

 

I raked my fingers through his dirty blonde hair, slightly tugging at a few tufts. This proved me well as I heard a small growl in the back of his throat.  He pulled my body flush towards his and I gasped at the sudden movement. He pushed me back and continued to stroke up and down my body. All my reasoning flew out the window with each ministration.  I needed Wash at this moment, we needed each other because it seemed like it was all we had and all we ever will have.

 

 

Wash grabbed the backs of my knees and hoisted me up.  I wrapped my legs around his waist and put my arms around his neck.  Were we going too fast?  Maybe, but we had known each other for years and that meant we had to make up for the lost time.  Hell, we’re freelancers, we only live for so long.  I ~~didn’t~~ wouldn’t end up like Carolina; too invested in her work and too scared to love a teammate before her untimely demise. No… I didn’t want to end up like York. A broken shell of a man, plagued by memories of the woman he loved with all his heart and soul.

 

Before I knew it, we were on the floor of Illinois’ room, yanking off each other’s armor.  Has Wash’s arms always felt so muscular?  We stopped our antics to breathe and get the armor off our bodies before resuming.  The only things separating us was our undersuits.  We unzipped each other and let the mesh material pile at the bottom of our feet. Wash had a six-pack with a light trail of hair beneath his navel leading to his boxers. He looked up and down my body, lustful eyes raking over my body, figuring out where to start next. I put my arms on either side of his head and left a path of kisses starting from his neck to his chest before carefully sinking my teeth into his nipple. His hips bucked forward as he became a moaning mess. “Oregon…”

 

Wash grabbed the hem of my sports bra off and almost tore it off, exposing my breasts to the breezy air. I gasped as my hot skin met the cold air around us.  His hands went to my chest massaging my swollen mounds.  I stopped teasing him and let out a holy shit before turning into a puddle at his mercy. Wash crushed his lips against mine, wasting no time on foreplay. My back was arching off the wooden floors and I moaned his name, his real name. He let out a guttural sound and swiped off my thong and he took off his boxers and we continued to kiss. I felt something poke against my thigh. I lightly bit his lip as I pulled away from the kiss for a second to look down and back into his eyes.

 

He kissed the side of my neck and I was struggling not to just scream out my pleasures.

 

“Are you sure you want this?”

 

Wash’s arms were at either side of my head while my legs caressed his side. He looked into my eyes and waited for my reply. I was panting, unable to find my voice so I nodded.

 

“Use your words Oregon.”

 

“Y-Yes…please fuck me Washington- “

 

I couldn’t finish the rest of my sentence before he slammed into me and I cried out.  I felt a sharp pain but the pleasure I felt quickly washed that away.

 

“Shit Wash”

 

He continued to thrust into my body and I would huff every time. He changed the position and lifted my leg over his shoulder. Thank God I was flexible.  My teeth were sinking into my lips, in hopes of keeping myself from making more noise but Wash grunted, “Don’t hold back those lovely noises, it’s music to my ears”

 

I moaned, licking the scar on his neck and kissing over the wet trail. He was beautifully imperfect in every way, and I adored that about him.  My nails dug into the skin on his back and clawed up and down the expansion.  “So…fast,” Wash’s cock sliding against my clit each time he thrust into my heat. Our bodies were rocking in sync, our sounds a beautiful creating a harmony.  His right hand went to lightly pull my hair while the other kept him balanced. “hah yes” I let out. This only provoked him more, his grip on my hair becoming tighter. This was the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure.

 

_I need more._

 

 My hands went down and rubbed his sides slowly. I finally reached my core.  I dipped my fingers into my folds and began circling my bud. It was harder to keep in any noise at this point, the stimulation was far too much for me to handle. Something in my stomach felt tight.  I panted out, “Almost there….”

 

His thrusts picked up the pace and became more erratic. He must have been in the same boat as me. The hand left my hair and went to the side of my head.

 

“I-I don’t think I’ll last much longer.”

 

Wash continued to pull out and push back into my core. I locked eyes with him throughout my ecstasy. Damn, it wouldn’t be the right time to tell him how much I’ve wanted this, how much I wanted him to ravage my body. How I wanted my skin marked from his mouth and hands for people to see. Oh God, that’d be so hot. I wrapped my arms around his neck and left kisses on his cheeks.

 

My walls tightened on Wash’s length and I let out a pleasured cry. It felt like a coil had snapped inside my stomach and I let out a whimper before letting my head fall to the side. Wash continued to pump in me through my orgasm, pulling out to let his seed spill onto my toned abdomen. Wash landed to my side and pulled me into his chest. We both panted, trying to catch our breaths before trying to speak.

 

“mmm Wash?”

 

“Yeah?” He looked me in the eye.

 

“Let’s not tell the guys about this.  Especially, Tucker, he’ll never let us live it down.”

 

Wash gave a short laugh before agreeing, “Surely, he wouldn’t be the only one.”

 

We spent the night in Illinois’ shack curled up into each other; speaking in hushed voices about the past. The last thing I remembered was Wash’s hands running through my hair until I fell asleep.

________

 

When I opened my eyes, rays of sunshine were leaking through cracks in the walls. I yawned before sitting up and stretching my limbs. God my body was so sore it hurt to move. Wash was still sleeping to my right and I smiled. I wobbled to my feet and walked to the water, hoping to get some of the sweaty sex smell off me. I put my foot in and took another step. It was cold but then again, it was still early. It would be best if I jumped in now and get it over with. With a great bout of courage, I leaped in, trying to get adapted to the water faster.  I started to rub my body clean of any residue or dirt. I jumped when I felt a hand snake itself around my waist.  Wash pulled back, with worry and concern, “Are you ok?” I heavily breathed in and murmured a yes before embracing Wash. “You scared me for a second.” He snickered, “Glad it was only for a second.” He held out a bar of soap for me to take.

 

I smiled before taking the small bar and rubbing it against his chest. He looked nervous for a second but that quickly went away before he nibbled on my ear lobe. I bit my lip and kept lathering the soap over his taut muscles. His hand brushed over my bruised hips before hesitating a moment. His touch traveled to my busy hand, stopping me from continuing the circular motions on his stomach.

 

“You know we can’t do this again”

 

And there it was, the inevitable moment I was hoping would never come. Everything that took place the evening before would be thrown into the deepest part of our minds and be forgotten. I slowly looked up at him with a blank face. I pulled my hands back and hugged myself. I couldn’t do that.  We crossed a line that would be impossible to step away from. Wash would move on and treat me no differently than before our sinful thoughts were put into action.  I must have made a face because Wash frowned and had a pained look in his eyes.

 

“You knew that.”

 

I turned in the opposite direction and started to use the soap on my body.

 

“Of course,”

 

He wanted to forget everything! I mean I understand where he’s coming from but I didn’t think this was just a one-night stand to him. That I was just a one-night stand to him. How could he do this? And how could I be so stupid to think that he wanted me back for more than a booty-call? I finished with the soap and handed it to him silently before wading off to Illinois’ beachside “residence.”

 

Once in the shack, I yanked my undergarments on and pulled my undersuit towards me.  There was a trail of our armor leading to the room and I would kneel to pick up pieces one by one and place it on. By the time I was reaching for my chest plate, Wash had half of his armor on when he got close to me.

 

“Oregon.”

 

I refused to react or respond to the calling of my name. I meant nothing to him, and he meant nothing to me. Last night never mattered to me.

 

_Quit lying to yourself._

 

No… I could forget this. There was no harm in hooking up with a fellow co-worker. After all, it was just business.

 

“Oregon look at me.”

 

I passed by him and grabbed my peach colored Mark VI helmet. Putting on my helmet, I twisted over to look at him.

 

“Can I help you, Agent Washington?”

 

Hearing his full title, Wash had flinched. A few moments passed and his hands turned into tightly clenched fists at his sides and he yelled back,

 

“You can’t be mad at me about this Ore.  Last night put everything we have worked for at risk.”

 

“Yeah well, I didn’t think I’d just be some whore giving herself out for sex Wash!”

 

His face slackened, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

 

“Well, what am I supposed to think? Obviously I mustn’t mean that much to you if you just wanna move past this. I thought we had something…but I guess I was wrong. If you just wanted a simple fuck you could have used someone else!”

 

“Oregon seriously? You know I wouldn’t-“

 

“Wouldn’t what Wash? Use me? Well, you already fucking did you lying son of a bitch!”

 

I tried to walk past him again but he yanked me to his face.

 

“A relationship just complicates things too much, and you should know that better than anyone else!”

 

My heart stopped at his last remark and I just stared into his eyes.  The world went silent as my mind raced.  Oh god, he was right.  Having ties with people around you gets people hurt or worse, killed.  I wanted to yell back at him, tell him that he shouldn’t bring the past into this because it wouldn’t change anything. I wanted to tell him that Tennessee was dead and nothing would bring him back. My hands trembled and I just opened and close my fist. I couldn’t fix it, it was an accident… right? Just as I opened my mouth to speak my throat clenched up and a lone tear fell from my eye.

 

_Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt you._

 

 I wanted to roll up and cry after thinking of the atrocious memories circling Tennessee’s fate.  He was right; I should understand that better than anyone. After all, it was my fault that he was dead. Heh, why did I think this would be any different. I would just get Wash killed in the end, possibly even the guys too. I wanted to punch him for even bringing up the subject.  Yet, a small part of me wanted to hug Wash, to have him tell me everything was ok and that he didn’t mean anything he said.

 

_Dammit, he doesn’t care about you.  Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?_

_Past_

 

“Tennessee”

 

The soldier in blue armor turned around, the Sniper he used to hit the targets discarded at his side. The training room was empty at this time, the top tier Freelancers off on a mission somewhere.

 

“Oregon, baby, you just missed it. I broke my record!” I stalked towards him with a grin on my face, “Maybe one day I could compete with North. Now wouldn’t that be the dream?”

 

I wrapped my arms around him, humming in response. “Yes. I bet you could even get to the top of the leaderboard with all the practice you’ve been doing lately.”

 

He took his helmet off and gave the brightest smile before stooping down to lay a kiss on my forehead.

 

“You really think so?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Agents Florida, Oregon, and Tennessee will be gathering intel on a small insurrection base while Alpha team will be focused on dealing with the soldiers on the outside. Our sources state that the Insurrectionists next big move will be located in the files.”

 

The Director looked to the Counselor then back to our group, a frown covering his face.

 

“We must see to it that there will be no man left alive and that all valuable data is recorded. Is that clear Agents?”

 

“Yes, Sir!”

 

The small group of soldiers at my side stayed at attention, waiting to be dismissed.

 

After going over the plan, the Director waved us away while we all went to the Docking Bay. I took big strides to stay close to Tennessee and Florida as they talked to each other quietly but couldn’t keep up. I pouted before settling to be in the back of the group. A poke to the shoulder from a grey armor-clad hand startled me. Agent Washington chuckled before speaking, “You ready for the mission? This is a pretty big job for a group of our size you know?” I smiled inside my helmet, “That may be true, but I have faith in us. I have a really good feeling about this. I think it’s his big break Wash” He continued to look at me humming in response. “Good luck out there Oregon.” I softly punched his arm and ran to avoid his punch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh God, it’s a fucking setup. How did they know that we were coming?

 

I dodged the bullet whizzing in the air and ducked behind a Warthog. There was no intel in their databases. It was wiped clean, basically like a fucking demo computer at a store. The soldiers kept quiet while we snuck in and hid in the dark while Alpha team waited outside. There was no way out. Not without sacrifice.

 

“Florida! I’m pinned down, I can’t see any openings!”

 

A sound of a grenade exploding filled the comms before the optimistic voice of our team leader flooded my helmet, “Oregon, Alpha team is on their way. We’ll be out of here before you know it.”

 

I huffed before chucking a grenade over the turret. In the corner of my vision, I could see another large group of Insurrectionists fill the room. All of them heading towards Florida’s cover. “Shit Florida, we can’t wait that long.” I vaulted over the hood and fired at the soldiers closest to me. Their shock quickly faded before focusing their attention on me. I pulled the pin from my last grenade and threw it in the direction of the men. Many of them knocked down or stunned by the force of the explosion. I reached for my secondary weapon and saw our other team members tear through the outer defenses from the other side of the window.

 

All it took was a second of distraction for disaster to strike. Before I could react, I heard footsteps running towards me. I heard three rapid-fire shots be fired from behind me and I fell to the floor. There was a sharp pain in my abdomen but besides that I was alive. I put my hand to the gun wound and grimaced before looking back and what I saw left me paralyzed.

 

 Tennessee was at my side bleeding from a bullet wound to his heart. What have I done? The sound of his gurgling woke me from my trance. “NO!” I let a scream rip from my throat. I clambered to him and pulled him behind a flipped table. Alpha team entered through the main entrance and began to lay fire on the remaining Insurrectionists. I pulled his helmet off and met his glazy eyes. “You’re gonna be o-ok just hold on please” I croaked out. He was losing too much blood.  I placed my hand over the wound in an attempt to stop the blood from escaping his body. Violent coughing racked his frame “Angel it’s okay... you’ll be okay… don’t worry about me.” I tore my helmet off and put his head on my lap. “I’m sorry, Zachary. It’s all my fault, it’s always my fault.” My tears landed on his cheeks. He reached for his necklace and attached to it was a diamond ring with my initials inside the band. I couldn’t get any more words out through my sobs. He smiled one last time, mouthed something and used his last breath to speak, “let go…” His hand fell and his head went to the side.

 

“No no no, baby stay with me please…” I lightly shook him. No answer. “c’mon Z, you can’t be k-killed by something like this.” No muscle movement. I shakily grabbed his tags and held them tight. “What am I gonna do without you?”

 

Florida spotted us and ran to my side. For once, the happy soldier was at a loss for words. “Florida to Command. Do you read me?.... No data was obtained. We-we had a causality…. Agent Tennessee…. Yes Sir. I’ll be taking care of it.” I twisted around and saw Wash, Connecticut, Wyoming, and North. They made no move but had obviously seen our teammate’s body. I looked back at Florida and he spoke, “Oregon, you know what I have to do…” I scrambled looking for the ring. _Where are you goddammit?_ Connecticut squirmed, “We can’t stay around here.” I shook my head, “Where…where…where is it?” Wyoming growled and grabbed me by the torso. “Let go of me motherfucker!” I struggled against him to no avail. He continued pulling me back while Florida gathered explosives. “No no please!!” I attempted to pry at his iron grip. Wyoming got tired and slammed my helmet on, throwing me to Wash. Wash held me firmly and dragged me outside. I wailed, “Wash, I’ll do anything, just let me go.” A loud explosion came from inside and I sobbed into Wash’s arms.

 

I don’t remember being taken to the Mother of Invention. I don’t remember the mixed looks of pity and sorrow my fellow comrades gave me. And I don’t remember the grey arms taking me back to my room and holding me tight.

 

_End Past_

The sound of a Pelican’s engines pierced the air.  Wash and I looked up simultaneously and watched the ship land on the other side of the trees.  My hand was shaking over dog tags. I guess the guys found us…As if this trip wasn’t falling apart already.

 

“You’re right Wash, I should know better… and it should have been me, not him”

 

I grabbed my Battle Rifle and Magnum and started to run in the direction of our company.  Wash scrambled to get the rest of his armor on before he lost sight of me.

 

_It’s my fault. I killed him._

 

By the time we reached a good vantage point on a cliff not too far from the landing zone, Wash caught up to me and crouched, using the scope of his Sniper to see the soldiers exit the cabin.

 

“Oregon…”

 

“Stop it Wash.”

 

He sighed, focusing on the matter at hand.

 

“Guess who it is?”

 

“Mercs?”

 

“Nope”

 

“Space Pirates?”

 

“Dumber”

“Don’t tell me.  The Reds and Blues?”

 

“It’s twice as bad as that”

 

I grunted before starting to trek down the clifftop, silently cursing the angle of the slope.  When

Wash and I got to Tucker’s side he was talking about something that had to do with the location of this place.  Wash interjected, “Let me guess.  Sarge built robot versions of everyone.”

 

Tucker turned to the sound of his voice and replied, “Guess again.”

 

Wash responded with, “Really rather not.”

 

Tucker grunted fine and continued, “Wash, Oregon, meet Temple” he began to point at those he introduced, Temple being the counterpart to Church, only being separated by the blue visor “Serge” Serge’s name not only resembled Sarge’s but he looked as if he was his mirror image, “Loco” was Caboose’s twin, not including the visor, “Uh, Robo Spaghetti-O” I would assume that this was Lopez’s equal. Hopefully, this one could speak English, “Bucket- ““Bucky!” This one was obviously Tucker’s look-a-like, “Whatever, and Donut 2.0”

 

The one named Temple spoke first, “Washington, Oregon, it’s an honor to meet you both.”

 

Wash stared dumbstruck asking, “What.  The.  Heck?”

 

I questioned further, “Could you explain why there’s two of everyone?”

 

Tucker answered, “They’re from another Gulch, that’s why they look like us.  Look, the whole story is long and complicated and we need to get out of here asap.  You really fucked up activating your beacon, that’s how they’re tracking us down.”

 

Wash objected, “We were counting on it.  We’re luring them here.”

 

Tucker interrupted again, “Well lucky for you we can do the same thing.”

 

Sarcastically offering, I said, “Yeah.  Lucky.”

 

Wash spoke, “From our perspective, we set a trap, and you all fell in it.”

 

Temple piped up once again, “Well your trap wouldn’t have worked anyway.  The UNSC has a nasty habit of nuking from orbit first and asking questions later.”

 

That caught my attention, “The UNSC?”

 

Tucker snickered, “Oh big surprise, you guys haven’t figured out what’s going on yet.” Looking back, he locked eyes with Temple and announced, “Score another for team Tucker.”

 

I jabbed back, “A you have?  What about Church?”

 

Tucker beamed, “He’s alive.”

 

Temple chimed, “If you come with us, we’ll explain everything.”

 

 

 

“That’s…quite a story.”

 

“Temple only left out the part where Sarge fell in love with himself, and Simmons realized he can’t stand his own reflection.”

 

The Reds and Blues certainly achieved more in the time that we left our base.  Unfortunately, there was still something missing.

 

“What about Dylan?  Did she leave?”

 

Simmons answered my question, “Nah, she’s around here somewhere”

 

Sarge added, “We’ve been keeping her on a don’t need to know basis.  Can’t trust the press these days.”

 

That didn’t make sense, “Why not?  She seemed perfectly trustworthy to me”

 

Tucker voiced, “Well we don’t know what her agenda and stuff is.”

 

“But Tucker, she can get the real story out.  She publicizes this insane plot by the UNSC to kill the ex-agents- “

 

“-and Sim Troopers, we’re people too.”

 

“If she can get the story out its game over.”

 

Temple protested, “There’s no easy way out of this.  This ends with us taking the fight to those that would see us all dead.  This ends in violence.”

 

Retaliating, I said, “What if it didn’t have to- “

 

“-They killed your friends- “

 

Tucker also interrupted, “They have Church- “

 

“And they need to be brought to justice but what if for once it was in a courtroom or a Court Marshall?  Not at the end of somebody’s knife.”

 

Tucker asked, “Are you feeling alright?”

 

Then Temple ruled, “Our adversaries are too powerful.  If we come at them now with just accusations, they’re gonna turtle up and ride it out.  They’re looking for us, they’re poking their head out of their shell and I aim to chop it the fuck off.”

 

Tucker praised Temple, “Oh yeah boy!”

 

Temple changed the subject, “Anyways, we’re getting ahead of ourselves, strategizing can wait till breakfast.”

 

Simmons prodded, “And breakfast is?”

 

“Fish”

 

Everyone around the table groaned in disgust at the mention of seafood.  Temple apologized while Tucker stated he would puke if he ate another fish.  Temple jumped on his comment, “Hey it’s not like there’s any cows or chickens swimming around our underwater lair-base” he cleared his throat, “how about I give our guests the grand tour?”

 

Wash and I turned to face Temple.  He motioned for us to follow so I took the first step.  He showed us some of the basic rooms, a makeshift kitchen, a few rooms for people to sleep in and a device the size of large stature.  The entire time I spaced myself out from Wash.  He still used me just like a prostitute and well newsflash, I belong to nobody.  He can’t just forget about the night we spent together curled around each other.  I felt so angry, I am not just a girl you can fuck and leave.  Wash used to be different, before the A.I. implantation.  He was sweet, a little naïve and one of the most caring people on the top of the leaderboard.  Even when knocked off the Top 10, he stood by me and supported me in my grief.  I must not have noticed when Wash and Temple were staring at me because we were about to enter an elevator.  I lightly shook my head and stepped into the shaft.  I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head.  It didn’t matter anymore, nothing did. 

 

_Just forget about it.  He never cared about you, he just wanted to use you for your body._

 

I let out a shaky breath and the metal door opened to a corridor lit with a red light.  Temple broke the silence, “Just through here.  Sorry about the mess.”

 

Washington ignored his remark, “You wanted to show us what?”

 

“Uh, we just gathered some relics from Project Freelancer.  I thought you both would appreciate the collection.”

 

We entered a pitch-black room, Temple lingering near the door and Wash being a few feet away from me.  The overhead lights flicked on and different armor types filled the room.  I felt nervous for some reason but shrugged off the feeling.  Temple was no threat against both of us.

“Recognize anyone?”

 

I looked around, nothing comes to mind for the moment.

 

Wash excitedly spoke, “Oh man, that’s Agent Arizona’s armor isn’t it?”

 

“And Maryland” I added.  “There’s Alaska.”

 

The room was full of past Agents armor variants. I felt a small tug at my heart and gave a small smile.

 

Washington changed the subject, “Uh, I think you need to check your plumbing.  That smell…”

 

I sniffed and instantly held my breath. Oh, God. After one mission that had gone wrong, I would never forget that smell.  My heart stopped as I turned to look at Temple in horror.

 

“That’s…not…sewage.  And this isn’t just armor.” My eyes landed on Illinois holding his favorite brand of alcohol.  Wash cocked his head in question as he looked at me, “What?! That’s…”

 

My rage ignited throughout my body.  “You!”

 

Temple snickered, “Guilty.”

 

“What did you do to them?!”

 

“I killed them.  I. Murdered.  Them.  I set my vengeance free upon them and it felt so good!  But not half as good as this feels.”

 

Wash raised his gun, voice dropping an octave, “Well, if it’s a fight you want…”

 

I unsheathed my knife, having it parallel with my eyes while taking a step closer to him, “…then I think we can oblige.”

 

Temple knocked his head back laughing, “I could never best you in a fight.  And anyway,” He began to reach behind his back, “don’t they say that revenge is a dish best served- “He brought up a remote his side.  “-Frozen?”

 

My body stiffened.  I had chills run through my whole body.  It felt like ice surrounded my entire body and that I was drowning.  I gasped and tried to move my arms to no avail.  My eyes looked to the right and Wash was stuck in place too.  I can’t be stuck, I must move.

 

“My greatest fear is that you would know me, Oregon.  That you’d recognize my voice and the game would be up.”

 

“Oregon.  I can’t…”

 

My breathing began to pick up, “I… can’t move either… I’m locked.”

 

Temple noticed our conversation, “Ah, the armor lock technology was salvaged from Project Freelancer.  Fate is not without irony.  The past is not without its just dessert.”

 

My lungs, they burn, it hurts to breathe.  I want to scream but I need to conserve air.

 

Wash uttered out, “That yarn about the UNSC?  They’re not really killing Freelancers.”

 

“Of course not.  I am!”

 

I felt like my body was shutting down, “But why?”

 

He turned to me and got in my face, “Because of what you did to us, for what she did most of all.  The record for staying alive in this room, locked in your armor, is eight days and eleven hours.  I know you’re both the most competitive of the Freelancers.  So, do try to do better for me.”

 

Wash spoke with trouble “The Reds and Blues will come looking…”

Temple was walking towards the door before he answered back, “The Reds and Blues will be dead before they even miss you.  So long Agent Washington.”

 

I couldn’t control my breathing much longer and started to rapidly suck in oxygen.  “NO!”

 

Temple didn’t bother looking before bidding farewell, “So long, Oregon.”

 

The door shut and it was quiet before I resumed my erratic breathing.  I wanted to kill Temple. Make him suffer the way my friends did. I would make him pay, no matter what the cost was.  I couldn’t get air into my lungs fast enough. Who was I kidding? There’s no way we could get out of armor lock ourselves. I’m gonna die here.  I still had so much to do in life.  This is what I get for trying to be the best, I should have never signed myself up for this.  “Please” I croaked.  Wash was trying to tell me something and it was so hard to listen.

 

“Oregon, take deep breaths.  You need to calm down.”

 

_You’re going to die here.  It will be slow, it will be agonizing, and you will suffer._

 

No!  I couldn’t die here, I wouldn’t let myself.  My name is Oregon, Agent of Project Freelancer and I will not be crushed by a sim trooper.  I will not die down here.  And I’d be damned if I was going to let my friends die.

 

“Oregon, you need to slow you’re breathing down, you’re going to- “

 

Black was forming in the edges of my vision and bled towards the center.  I closed my eyes as my fears swallowed me.

 

I came to at the sound of buzzing.  I tried to swat away a fly but my arms felt like a ton.  Now that I think about it, I couldn’t really feel my arms.  I attempted to twist my neck but nothing changed.

 

“What the hell?” My voice was quiet.

 

“Oregon?  Oregon can you hear me?!”

 

“Wash?  Is that you?  What’s going on?  I can’t move.”

 

 

“Temple put us in stasis.  Shortly after that, you passed out.  We can’t move anything besides our eyes.”

 

 

“Dammit.  How long was I out?”

 

 

Wash went quiet before answering, “About 5 hours.”

 

 

I huffed and shifted before realizing it wouldn’t work.  “Well, what do we know about stasis?”

 

 

“It’s used to keep Freelancers from performing… any tasks that require movement.  Unfortunately, stasis can only be shut off by an outside operative.  No one has… successfully gotten out of it without assistance.”

 

 

I tried to think of an escape plan but came up emptyhanded.  “We’re so fucked Wash.  The Reds and Blues… they won’t find us because they trust the other guys.”

 

 

“Oregon, have a little…faith.  They’ve pulled miracles in the past.”

 

I didn’t say anything else.  He was right, I needed to be more hopeful if I wanted to make it out alive.  I tried to think, I don’t remember Temple from my past, why would he have such a vendetta against me?  I rarely met sim troopers unless it was for training purposes… Wait the smell of blood... That happened with sim troopers.  It was an accident, I never meant to hurt the orange one.  Was that what this was about?  There was no reason to kill the other Freelancers unless he saw it as an eye for an eye.  It was my fault.  The others are dead because of me and more will die because of my mistakes.

 

For hours I tortured myself with my thoughts until Wash began to mumble something.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Did you say something Wash?”

 

“Oh… no.

 

The only sound that filled the room was the sound of machinery and labored breathing.

 

“Wash?”

 

“Yes, Oregon?”

 

Should I say something?  It could make things worse.  We were most likely going to die anyway so what did it matter?

 

“Why did you want to forget?”

 

I heard his breath hitch before it evened out again.

 

“Oregon, let’s not talk about this now.”

 

“But Wash, what if there is no future for us?”

 

I meant it both ways.  I would pay for my actions and probably never hear his reasoning for why we can’t work.  Or we wouldn’t last long enough to get out of this basement.

 

“You know why it wouldn’t work, I don’t need to explain myself.”

 

There he was, putting up his walls again.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t like me Wash… You could just tell me”

 

_Don’t lie to yourself_

 

“But if we really only have… a few days left to live I just want to be honest with you.” I took a shaky breath in before continuing, “You’re my best friend.  Always have been… always will be.  You have helped me through… a lot of shit in the past that I have… never told anyone else about before.  And no matter how many times I fell… you would never leave my side.  And for a while, I told myself not to feel anything for you... I told myself it wouldn’t work out, someone would get hurt, someone could get killed… After I saw what happened to York I forced myself to just be your comrade.  But now that we’re all that stands… now that we helped the Reds and Blues and now that Chorus is safe I thought… we could try to work things out… Last night was the best night of my life, I never felt so alive, so safe in someone’s arms.  And now that I think about it… I realized that I…I loved you this entire time… I love you for who you are.  I love how strong you are… despite all you’ve been through.  And if you don’t love me… like me or even care about me that’s ok.  I want to thank you for standing by me.”

 

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears from coming down my face.  If he doesn’t even care for me, that would be ok because I didn’t deserve his compassion.

 

“Oregon you don’t understand- “

 

The door opened and Temple stepped in.

 

“Oh, congrats you two, you’ve made it through your first day.  How does it feel to have the life sucked out of you?”

 

My eyes opened and followed his movements.  I would not give him pleasure in my death, no matter what.  His feet stopped in front of Wash before looking over to me.  “Not in a talking mood hm?” He inched towards me and crossed his arms. It was quiet for a few moments until he spoke,

 

“Biff was going to be a father, Oregon.  So, when you sent that flag in between his ribs you ruined his family’s lives.  He was going to be sent home that day, but you and that bitch showed up and killed him.”

 

I flinched, wishing I didn’t have to hear his voice.  I could tell without looking that Wash was confused and wanted to ask questions.  I mumbled for Temple to stop and he uncrossed his arms, fury showing through his body movements.  Before I knew what was going on, his fist landed in between my chest with power.  The air in my lungs escaped me as I tried to breathe in again.

 

“I asked you to stop!  But you used him as a FUCKING SHIELD!”

 

He punched me one more time and I heard a crack before letting out a pained groan.  Wash was either grunting or growling, at this point it was hard to focus because I was keeping myself from crying out.

 

“How did it feel Oregon?  To kill a man and to walk away like it never happened?  Even better, how does it feel to know you killed a father?”

 

I clenched my teeth with one more punch to the ribs.  He lowered his fists before he turned and left the room.  When the door closed I let out a breath.

 

“Oregon?  Are you ok?”

 

I coughed and blood landed on my visor.  Is it internal bleeding?  I desperately wanted to wipe the blood off but knew it would be impossible.  He said a day, not a few hours but a day.  Meaning we have less time before our demise.  Unless the other guys find us.  But what are the chances of them figuring out the Blues and Reds were seeking revenge or possibly stumbling down here without being noticed?

 

“It’s nothing I don’t deserve.”

 

I coughed one more time, leaving half of my visor wet with blood. Maybe death would finally come to me. I wheezed and desperately wanted to get out of my armor.

   

 

 

 

 

I’ve lost track of time, I know it’s been a few days though. This death sentence gave me time to think about a lot of things. Majority of the time, my mind wandered to all the stupid shit I’ve done and how its affected people. I relive the death of my friends in a constant loop and have yearned for my own demise in that time. The occasional crazed mumble came from Wash and I’ve learned to not think about it too much. My friend was slowly dying and I had to hear him fall apart mere feet away from me.

 

I realized I could no longer speak in full sentences without getting in a coughing fit. Temple had visited a little while ago and once again used me as a punching bag. I’m surprised he hasn’t killed me yet. Thankfully, he hasn’t harmed Wash.

 

‘Angel, you’ve really gone downhill’

 

“…sorry”

 

‘How many days has it been?’

 

“six…”

 

‘You know I don’t blame you, right love?’

 

“should’ve…killed…me…”

 

‘No baby, if I could go back I’d do it again.’

 

“wanna…die”

 

‘I wish we would’ve gotten out. We could have gotten married, had babies, grow old, and die together. Even if we couldn’t get out, I still would have given you a ring anyways.’

 

I stayed silent, willing myself to not cry for the lack of fluids in my body. I croaked out, “i was… never…good enough”

 

The vision of Zach disappeared, and with it went my sanity.

 

_Past_

 

I held the magnum to my head once again. God, why hadn’t I just fucking done it already? The safety was off, all I had to do was pull the trigger.

 

Nothing was ever that easy.

 

I was allowed 5 days to mourn his death. It was more than anyone else had gotten so I should have been thankful but everything just felt… numb. Heh, Tennessee was always well-mannered unlike me; he knew how to deal with just about anything. He should have been standing here, not me--never me. Tears ran down my face thinking about him. I should have been looking around for threats instead of running half-assed into a situation.

 

I had the occasional visit from the other Freelancers but the most noted one was Washington. Every day he would come in around lunch time and tell me about something new he learned that day. Wash would try to make me laugh with some of Wyoming’s stupid jokes or York’s silly stories.

 

Why was I such a burden? Wash should be out enjoying himself with his friends, not helping some broken piece of shit. I mustered enough bravery and pulled the trigger, ready to end my misery. ‘click’.

 

“I can’t even kill myself properly,” I whispered to no one.

 

 I threw the gun at my mirror in a fit of rage, the glass shattering and littering the floor.

 

Wash came in a few minutes later and saw me looking into space. Never did he question why there was glass everywhere or why there was a gun on the floor or ho I was doing. Cause it was pretty fucking obvious I wasn’t feeling great.

 

He offered silent support most days but that day he hugged me.

 

“You don’t have to be brave right now.”

 

 

_End Past_

 

 

 

“Oregon…talk to me” a dazed Washington spoke.

 

It took a lot of power to force some words out “might… die t’night”

 

The sound of Wash sniffling broke my heart, “I…I love you.”

 

“mm…I l-love…you…..too”

 

I closed my eyes and started to mumble words incoherently. Sometimes Wash would answer back but would call me by different names.

 

The sound of the door opening startled me and had me wheeze. My vision showed a black blob coming towards us.

 

“Is that…you Tex?”

 

“Wrong Agent Oregon.”

 

Wash cut me off, “Locus? Are you here to kill us?”

 

Locus sighed, “No, but I sure do get that lot.”

 

Suddenly Wash fell out of stasis and Locus caught him. Wash grunted as Locus placed his lying form against the wall.

 

“Locus…” I tried to speak but I started to cough. He came to my side and I immediately started to fall forwards but he held me up. A sharp pain hit me in the lungs. “It…hurts…put…down” He lifted me bridal style and laid me down next to Wash. Locus looked at us before speaking, “You have broken ribs Oregon.” I weakly pulled my helmet off and gasped for air despite the pain in my chest. “Explains…blood…” I curled into myself and put my face on the cold floor. I felt a familiar sized hand on my arm.

 

“So. Why are you here?” Washington claims.

 

Locus keeps quiet for a few moments, “Several months ago the Blues and Reds stole the power generator from a colony of refugees.

 

“And…you…are doing this…outta the good…in your heart?” I breathed out

 

“No. Without clean water and air, they perished. Every man, woman, and child. I tracked the Blues and Reds to this sector where I found your robot drifting towards a nearby black hole.”

 

“Well, as soon as this elevator stops I’ll be ready to kick ass and take names.”

 

“We’re not in an elevator.”

 

I stared at Wash and Locus. “Oh. Well, in that case, it’s gonna be up to you three to save the day”

 

“Three?” I asked

 

“Yeah. You, Locus, and Big Bird over there. What up Big B?” Wash looked to the vacant space to the left of us.

 

“Both of you are past the point of usefulness.”

 

I scoffed “You…never needed…help before”

 

“I don’t… do that anymore. I promised myself I would change. I’m not going back on that now.”

 

“You think you… can just change overnight?”

 

“Given the things you two have done, I would hope so.”

 

I looked away just as Wash spoke, “This is gonna suck…”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Locus led us to a living area with two couches. There I collapsed onto the soft couch. Wash sauntered in the room and laid down on the couch across the room from me. Locus stood near the door for a few seconds before vanishing. I drank from the water Locus spared us and then closed the bottle. “Wash...” He hums before looking at me. “I’m too old for this shit.” We look at each other before chuckling.

 

“What now?”

 

Wash sits up a little before slumping down again… “Not too sure little bird”

 

I grimace and face the pillows. I hope we can move on from this. Especially him, he deserves to live a normal life. I drifted off to sleep waiting for Locus to come back. When I opened my eyes the Reds and Blues were in the room with us. I rested my hand over my bottom ribs. Tucker and I made eye contact just as he stepped forward, “Oh, Jesus. What did they do to you?” I put on a smile and lied, “We’re fine.” Wash quipped back, “That’s what she said. Oooohhhh! High five u-up top”

 

Caboose spoke, “Did you get your shoelaces?”

 

Tucker looked at Wash, “Are you okay? Can you guys fight?”

 

I held back a groan, “I think I’m out.”

 

Locus cut in, “We need to move now. The longer we stay here, the higher the chance we’re detected.”

 

Tucker twisted around, “Well, we didn’t see anyone on the way here. This place suddenly feels like a ghost town.”

 

“They must have moved out and left a skeleton guard to watch the cells,” Locus answered

 

Caboose replied, “Oh, come on! We can handle one skeleton. The ghost town though, we’re gonna need to call someone for that.”

 

“Times-a wasting gentlemen. Let’s get a move on.” Sarge stated.

 

The group continued to argue about the machine in the basement, ending with Grif volunteering for investigation work.

 

“Heh, I guess I’m hallucinating again Wash.”

 

“Uh-oh, Spaghetti-o's.”

 

Locus growled, “Let’s find a way out of here.”

 

Wash weakly stood up and Tucker hovered over him to make sure he didn’t fall over. I couldn’t stand without help and even then I needed someone to walk with me. Locus led the group, leaving Caboose to carry me.

 

“Thank you Caboose.”

 

“It’s no problem, Miss Oregon. You and Washington have always been there to help me. It’s the least I can do.”

 

I genuinely smiled, “You’re such a sweetheart.”

 

Tucker angrily muttered something under his breath and Caboose turned smug, “What a nice lady.”

 

 

Once we all got to the docking bay Locus began scoping the area. I leaned against the wall with Wash while the others kept watch. I watched him while also listening to the guys plan our escape. I guess our confinement got to him too. He was out of it, hallucinating things that weren’t there even leading up to our rescue. I wasn’t in much better shape. I held my ribs and blinked away the sight of Tennessee looking at me. “Goddammit,” I whispered.

 

I listened in to hear Sarge and Locus speaking, “I’ll cover you all from here,” said the soldier in red.

 

“Your shotgun has an effective range of two meters. If anyone should provide cover, it’s me.”

 

I walked towards him, “You said you weren’t killing anymore.”

 

Tucker and Caboose laughed at my words.

 

“I did swear off killing. But you don’t need your kneecaps to live.”

 

Grif piped up, “What about your ship? It’s got weapons, right?”

 

“Yes, they’re very useful for splitting asteroids, less practical indoors. No, this will require some planning. If we play our cards right we can escape without the need for violence.”

 

Tucker raged, “Fuck that. These sons of bitches are our enemies, and I, for one, am ready for some motherfucking revenge.” The aqua colored soldier walked out into the open.

 

I called for him, “Tucker don’t.”

 

Tucker shot the closest soldier followed by a booyah. Locus screamed idiot and fired at a red near the ship.

 

Everyone except for Wash and myself rushed forward and engaged the zealots. Bullets were flying in the air and the group became overwhelmed with enemies. I staggered towards the light but Wash pulled me back. I looked at him with uncertainty and he continued to walk. “Wait Wash!” He walked faster than me and passed Tucker and the others. The said soldier noticed this and called out for him.

 

“Wash? Wash. Wash! What the fuck are you doing? Wash, get down!”

 

Wash turned around as he got to the center of the fight and called out, “Oh hey T-“

 

A bullet from the side flew through the air and hit Washington in the throat. I screamed, “David!” and ran out from cover. I slid next to Wash and saw the puddle of blood. Tucker followed and crouched by him, “Someone! Do something!”

 

Locus spoke but all I could see was the blood on my hands with no sound. My hands were shaking and blood started to soak through my undersuit. I couldn’t move from my position, it was as if I was stuck in the basement again. It was as if my past was coming to haunt me.

 

_“You should know that better than anyone.”_

 

I couldn’t stop looking at my hands.

 

I could see Locus and Tucker argue about something but there was just a steady high-pitched noise ringing in my ears.

 

I could have stopped him. I could have fucking walked out there! I could have taken the bullet! Isn’t it bad enough that I killed Zach?

 

Wash was carried onto the ship and then I was next. No matter how hard I tried I was unable to move my legs. Locus lifted me up and carried me aboard silently.

 

‘So… another one huh?’

 

Carolina, York, the Dakotas, Maine, Wyoming, Florida, and Tennessee all stood around me.

 

‘Always said he was the squad’s worst fighter’ said York jokingly

 

Carolina slapped the back of his head, ‘For what it’s worth, we’re sorry Oregon.’

 

North put a phantom hand on Wash’s chest plate while South looked down at the ground.

 

Florida came to North’s side and put a hand on his shoulder, ‘It’s okay son. We’re all almost together again.’

 

Wyoming sat by Wash, ‘Terrible accident my friend.’

 

Maine squeezed Wash’s limp hand and gave a gruff apology.

 

“I didn’t know it would come to this. Am I the only one alive?”

 

All of them looked at each other with solemn faces.

 

Tennessee came to my side and held my hand, ‘Remember what I told you? Learn to let go. You can’t blame yourself for this sort of stuff. We knew the risks and we signed up anyways. It was only a matter of time.’

 

I frowned _, of course, I would be the last one. I would be alone._

 

“Tossed off a cliff, a bullet to the chest, betrayed by blood, shot in the head, drowned in armor, sword to the heart, overdose, careless sacrifice, and now shot in the throat. I can only imagine how I’ll be killed in this line of work. There was never a way out for us. We were destined to die the moment we joined the project. Hell, the Director fucking offed himself watching a video of his dead wife. We didn’t deserve this. We just wanted to win the war.”

 

They all looked at me, some with bittersweet smiles.

 

This was my last chance at being happy and it was taken away. What a sick fucking joke? I started to laugh at the irony of those I loved being killed right in front of me.  What are the chances of having to watch the guys you love get shot twice in your life? I laughed harder, god it was like the world had it out for me. And what now? I get the pleasure of watching the rest of my friends die before myself? I cried from laughing so much. Yes, yes, let us keep taking stuff away. What’s next? I’ve already lost my sanity to a sim trooper hellbent on revenge. There’s nothing else that can be done to me. This is my punishment. And I must accept it.

 

 

 

I woke up with the sound of a monitor beeping. There was an IV or two in my arms that prevented me from getting up. The oxygen mask began to annoy me so I took it off. Beeping started going off and I attempted to stand but what I saw stopped me.

 

Across the hall, Wash was in the bed, tubes from everywhere connected to him. There were bandages covering his neck and a machine to regulate his oxygen intake covered the majority of his body. I yanked all the wires off my body and walked to his bedside and cried tears of joy.

 

I held his free hand and squeezed it lightly. I left kisses on his scarred hand and smiled. “You’re alive.” This was my second chance, he was breathing and his heart was beating and that’s all that mattered. His blue eyes fluttered open and I held my breath. There was recognition in his eyes and I smiled until my lips wouldn’t move anymore.

 

“David I—I’m so happy you’re awake.”

 

Wash opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

 

“Don’t push yourself too much. Just recover.”

 

He stared at me and soon enough squeezed my hand. I turned around and saw Dr. Grey standing outside the glass. She looked away when our eyes met.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“What do you mean cerebral hypoxia?”

 

“I’m sorry, Agent Oregon. When Washington was shot in the neck, his brain was deprived of oxygen for too long. The human brain can’t be left unscathed when starved of air for a few minutes. I don’t know the full extent of what the incident caused.” Dr. Grey sighed and locked her hazel eyes on mine. ”He’s gonna act differently; his memory loss is gonna frustrate him. Who wouldn’t be bothered by a gap in their memory? I think this is the end of his career Oregon. Cerebral hypoxia is no joke, especially in ordinary life let alone the life of a soldier. The drugs may not be enough for him.”

 

I wrapped my arms around myself, but not tight enough to mess with my ribs. Dr. Grey waited patiently with a small frown lining her lips.

 

“W-what can I do?”

 

“There’s nothing we really can do dear. We just have to wait and see and hope for the best.”

 

Grey and I talked for a little bit longer before she was called to assist with surgery in another hospital wing. I walked down the halls and stopped at Wash’s door. He was still asleep and no longer required so many tubes. Seeing as there was nothing else to do, I called Tucker.

 

The line rang for a while and just as I was about to hang up there was a muffled hello.

 

“Hey, Tucker.”

 

“Oregon?! How’s Wash doing?”

 

I chuckled, “Not even a how are you doing Oregon huh? Wash is… he’ll bounce back like he always does.”

 

Silence was on the other end of the line before he sighed, “Oregon, I uh, I really hope you’re doing better than when we last saw you.”

 

Should I even say anything? It might make things worse. “Tucker… Wash is uh… He’s different now. I think-”

 

I heard some yelling in the background, “Sorry Oregon, you cut out there. What were you saying?”

 

Nevermind. “Just wanted to know how you all were doing?”

 

I saw Wash moving around and I quickly stopped Tucker. “Hey Tucker, I gotta go. But you can tell me more about your time off when we meet again.”

 

“You’ll have to buy me dinner first baby.”

 

I groaned, “Come on Tucker, really?”

 

“Hey, I’m kidding. Take care of yourself and Wash too.”

 

And with that, a beep resonated signaling the end of the call. I walked into the room and sat next to Wash.

 

And I would always take care of him. For better or for worse. I owed him so much. It felt like a lifetime ago I was in his shoes and needed someone to be by my side. This wasn’t an obligation; I was doing it because I wanted to. I was doing this because I loved him and wanted to remain by his side for however long we have left. Washington may not recover from this but I vowed to keep him safe and happy as long as I could. He would learn how to cope with his new injuries and I would do anything to help him.

 

Soon enough, Wash was walking and talking again almost as if nothing had happened in the first place. Sure his memory would slip from time to time but I didn’t point it out too much. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember anything related to the incident but that didn’t matter. He was safe now and we could start to have a life outside of the Freelancers, Chorus, and any other battles. Sure enough, when Wash recovered to his best ability, we started to train. We worked through his frustrations and just about everything went back to normal. The Reds and Blues were promised a life with no more danger and with civilization. We all kept in touch, of course living in the same general vicinity helped that cause.

 

In the end, the boys each found the right ones for them and lived happily. As for Washington and myself? We worked everything out and started dating. Yes, things weren’t always perfect and sometimes he would end up forgetting something and I would go into an episode but nothing was ever perfect. Two years after our first date, we got married and held a small ceremony with our closest friends.

 

Was I sad that Wash wouldn’t be the same? Yeah. Would I do anything to help him get those memories back? Of course! But either way, I couldn’t have asked for anything more considering our line of work.


End file.
